i went to cleveland for thanksgiving and that was a nice break too, although the cold was almost more than i wanted to deal with. i did get to see snow, though, its been several years.
after being on the road then sick for 2 weeks, i didn't want to do much of anything at my parents house but sit and recover. we ate alot, hit the malls a couple times, actually worked out in a gym, hung with my sisters and niece, watched football. downtown cleveland with the relatives was nice, too, visiting the westside market, little italy, sorta like travelling still. but alot less effort.
my flights from cleveland to kauai took almost 20 hours total time. the first flight wasn't bad but the second made me realize a huge difference between central american airlines and united states airlines. i've never been annoyed by anyone flying (or even on a bus) in central america, even when it was so crowded i was smashed between sweaty, stinky people.
on my flight from chicago to los angeles i got stuck in the middle seat. there was a fat woman in a track suit with her stuff spread out all over my seat and when i said 'excuse me', she looked up and said 'what.' like i'd be talking to her for any other reason than that she was taking up my seat. it took close to 5 minutes with me blocking the aisle for her to gather all of the things she had unpacked, put them back in her bags, then heft herself out of her seat to allow me to sit. i've seen alot of strange things in central america but i've never quite run across people who are absolutely ridiculous, like this woman.
i wanted to sleep through this flight but the six seats in front and behind me held 4 small children so i had almost 5 hours to watch this absurd fat woman.
the first thing she did was pull out several small bags of nuts and eat them as quickly as she could. she dropped one on the floor and spent a couple minutes trying to reach it without getting out of her seat but her belly was too big to reach. but she wouldn't stand up so she kept rocking herself back and forth to get some momentum up to reach the food. didn't work. eventually she had to find places to stash the dozen small items she had laid out on her lap and on her tray table so she could get up and eat more.
the attendants hadn't reached us yet with the drinks so she then spent the next 15 minutes looking at the pictures in 10 different tabloids. can't miss anything that the celebrities are doing.
and finally it was time to get a drink. she ordered a coffee and received a couple creams and sugars. she called back the attendant twice for more supplies, and ended up putting six creams and six sugars in her small cup of coffee. and made such a mess that it looked like the coffee bar in starbucks after the morning rush.
it had been so long since i encountered anyone who was so amazingly ridiculous i wasn't sure whether to be offended by my fellow american or to laugh at such a perfect stereotype of us.
after watching her for 4 more hours doing random stupid crap, and listening to all the children scream, i got to los angeles and bought an upgrade to first class for my last flight to lihue. i ended up having 2 first class seats to lounge across and a nonstop flow of pinot grigio. or, it was nonstop until i drank it all, then i had to switch.
the attendant brought me one of those small, cute wine glasses and kept running back and forth to keep it filled. finally she brought me a giant tumbler so she didn't have to make so many trips. i got pretty drunk.
and that brings up the question, which is the worse stereotype, the fat woman in coach, or the lazy drunk girl in first class? i realized after a while that i didn't have alot of room to laugh at anyone else. but then again, i was drunk, so i did.
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