lazy days and annoying people

a week and a half of roatan and i still haven't decided where i'm going next.  my days are spent at yoga, scuba diving, and hanging around.  i guess that's not too bad a way to kill time.  that's also why i haven't written much, every day is mostly like the last.

i've been feeling lately like i need a purpose, something to accomplish.  that probably comes from only talking to dive masters, tour guides and spanish teachers, everyone seems to know way more about everything than me and quite honestly i'm beginning to feel a bit dumb.  i'm going to spend the next few days deciding what i'd like to do when i grow up.

one thing that doesn't make me feel dumb is talking to americans.  why do they seem like the biggest idiots anywhere i go?  i met a woman at a bar last nite and instantly disliked her.  first she was insistent that we've been diving together the past 3 days (she was a bit annoyed that i didn't recognize her), but after investigating, she's only been on afternoon dives and i've only been on morning dives.  so impossible, but she was positive i've been on her boat and wouldn't let it drop.

her next method of pissing me off was interrupting an important conversation about strippers and pole dancing.  why am i not allowed to have a fun, non-pc chat with the boys without someone spouting off about women's rights and how important pole dancing will become as the next olympic sport?  you're not supposed to talk about serious things in a bar after 10pm.

imagine my surprise when she's on the morning dive with me today.  she did go on a bit about her level of scuba diving prowess so i was interested to see her underwater.  and she looked like she was riding an invisible unicycle, legs pumping, arms waving around, she kept grabbing the dive master when she got too out of control, or she'd pedal her way so far off that someone would have to go get her.  totally amusing.

normally i don't waste much time writing or thinking about people that annoy me but she's just too funny.  i've been keeping notes on my phone of conversation topics that'll provoke her into more strange rants tonite.

the big news for the weekend is that the new road in town is finally ready to open.  the road was a gift from the canadian government (i don't know why), and they pledged $40 million to put in sewers and pave.  instead of sending the money here they actually sent canadian workers and materials, and did the work themselves.  smart people, those canadians.  what would have happened with a giant check for 40 million is a 20 million dollar road and a couple really rich honduran guys.

the official opening ceremony is on saturday and the president of honduras is coming.  i'll be taking the morning off of diving to watch, as my cabana is situated at the exact crossroads of the main section of the new road.  my porch is raised up about 6 feet so i have a great view over the rock wall that separates me from the road.  in fact, i am the only resident anywhere near town center right now.  so while all the people are jammed in the street i'm going to sit in my usual comfy chair (where i'm at right now, perfect for people watching), have some drinks and watch the craziness.

and maybe by the end of the weekend i'll have a plan to leave here.

the view from my lanai

drinking and diving

the first question everyone asks here is 'how long are you staying?'

most of the people i've met came here for vacation and never left.  roatan is a beautiful island, clear blue water with spectacular reefs and tons of fish.  there's a dive shop every few feet, i heard there are so many that they passed a law to stop any new shops from opening.

i've been diving with coconut tree divers and they've taken me to some great places.  they're also great to hang out with, the front lanai of the shop is always filled with people drinking coffee, beer, eating lunch, talking about diving, passing the time.  anytime i want to find someone to talk to i only need to walk half a block from my cabana.

i've hung out mostly with john and tree.  they both work at the shop but i haven't been diving with either of them yet.  john spent 35 years working as a host for parties and niteclubs, and tree spent almost as many years working as a carnival barker, so they both make excellent companions for hanging out and talking story.

tree and i rented paddleboards on sunday and went down to west bay, about a mile and a half.  the water was calm and beautiful which is good because this was only the 4th time tree has been on a board.  we got to our destination, a bar to watch football.  after several banana rum drinks we had to head home, and the wind had picked up, against us of course.  so we stopped at another bar about half way back for more rum.  some exercise, booze and a tour guide, what more could i want?  made it all the way home in time to hit the bars with all the locals.  i don't think i've seen this many bars in one place since college.

david has been my dive buddy here, he's from switzerland and planned a round the world dive trip for 3 months.  his itinerary has been set for a while and his next stop is a live aboard in galapagos.  this afternoon we're going to swim out to a boat moored in the middle of west end with a purposely slanted mast.  the boat used to be in service but someone owed someone money and used the boat as payment, and the new owner thought it would make a good playground for the local kids.  so he parked it out front of his restaurant, fixed the mast at a good angle and attached a rope swing.  anyone can swim out and play.

currently there are locals (probably just the expats) that think its an eyesore and want it removed but like most things here you can just pay the right people and do what you want.

david's impending departure makes me wonder where i'm headed next.  i have absolutely no plan in mind.  every day they ask me how long i'm staying, every day i tell them i don't know.  but after a week of diving and looking through all the pictures on the dive shops facebook page, i think i'm going to stay until i see a seahorse.  maybe tomorrow, maybe next month.

first day in honduras do over

ok today was a huge disappointment.

no wifi at all, unfriendly people at my hotel, we didn't even go to 'melissa's reef' on our dive.  what i took for a good omen turned out to be the last straw.  the 2 women divemasters were nice but the guys wouldn't talk to me and the group i dove with was super annoying.  i hate people that have to touch everything.  and bounce up and down and kick me.  and the super cool boat they advertised online wasn't even used.  we went in a crappy half broken down ponga.

after the dive i checked wifi again, no go, more unfriendliness from the front desk, so i started my search for a new home.

less than a block away i found a cabana with a/c, tv, dive shop with super nice people, refrigerator and microwave, and 24 hour wifi (unfortunately not in my room).  all for $10 more a night.  done.  i move in tomorrow morning.

even better, there's an attached restaurant with football.  not central american football (that too) but college football.

ok tomorrows a new day.

first day in honduras

the wifi is weird here.  and currently not working.  i know this because i was recruited to do tech support for a man sitting by the front office, he couldn't figure out how to connect.  he's french but he bought his computer in germany, so navigating through the network options took a bit of effort.  all the options had words that were several inches long with lots of h's and z's.  i finally grabbed my computer to check the connection and there was none.  i don't have enough spanish to explain to the honduran girl at the front desk that she should reboot the modem, but in a very roundabout way i got it understood.  turns out that the phones aren't working so no internet.  

they also cut off the wifi at 8pm, and don't turn it back on till 8am.  boo.

anyway, i finally got a look around this morning while out searching for coffee, roatan is very beautiful.  dirt roads, docks, clear blue water, hot hot hot.  considering trading in my cute little cabana for a hotel with air conditioning.  

the trip here was better than expected.  i did break down and pay a man $200 to set up my entire trip and it might have been the best money i've spent so far.  i left my hostel at 6am for the docks and took an hour boat ride to puerto barrios, and there was a man standing there waiting for me.  hopped in his van, just me, and off we sped through miles and miles of country.  the border crossing was very easy but if i were by myself it would have taken hours.  samuel knew everyone along the way, buddies with all the guys and flirting with all the girls.  at the guatemalan checkpoint they stamped my passport, then we found the money changers.  a 10 minute drive and we entered honduras, and instantly samuel was a bit different, seat belts on, behave yourself, etc.  there were 2 lines at immigration with about 40 people waiting but samuel took me to a 3rd window that was closed, shouted 'hey hermano', grabbed my passport and cash and it was done in 5 minutes.  the guy never even looked at me or asked me questions.  samuel probably saved me an hour of waiting in line.

after police searching the van (but not my bags) and getting sprayed down with antibacterial, we went through corintos, san pedro sula (with a wendy's and burger king every 50 feet), and lots of little towns all the way to la ceiba for the ferry.  outside of san pedro samuel pointed out the poorest town in honduras, miles of corrugated metal cobbled together into shacks.  throughout the ride there was a rambutan stand every mile or so, acres and acres of banana plantations, semi trucks sharing the 2 lane highway with horse drawn carts and bicycles.  

without samuel and his van i don't think this trip would have been possible in a day.  besides the time saved at immigration, i didn't have to walk the mile between leaving guatemala and entering honduras, and no sitting at bus stations wondering if i'm at the right place.  and samuel knew where the good food was along the way.

at the ferry station i had a couple hours to kill and found a cafe nearby.  i asked for a menu and they only served one dish for lunch and one for dinner so that's what you get.  it was fried chicken, spaghetti, avocado, rice, beans and fried plantain.  

back at the station i encountered the first security i've seen in my travels, they actually scanned my bags and walked me through a metal detector.  and took my knife.  i was a little upset at first, and honduran spanish being different than either mexican or guatemalan i had to ask a couple times, but turns out that i can claim it at the other end.  i've really become fond of my switchblade.

the ferry was great, one of those gigantic boats with a/c, tvs and comfy seats.  it could probably hold a few hundred people but it was pretty empty.  the ride took about an hour and a half to roatan.

the cab ride to my hotel cost almost as much as the ferry and it was dark so i couldn't see anything.  i found dinner at a bar filled with american expats, watched a garifune group doing a tribal dance in the street,  and called it a night.

during my wandering this morning i found yoga, paddle boards, dive shops everywhere, spanish classes, enough to keep me busy for a week or 2.  as i was walking past the dive shop at my hotel they were writing the days trips on the board and the 11am dive is at 'melissa's reef', so i took that as a sign that i should dive today.  gotta go get ready.

turtle shells for sale in livingston.  ugh.

roatan

13 hours of van, bus, car, boat and ferry and I made it to roatan.

it's hotter than hell and I have no beer.

I think the island would appreciate it if I took a shower before I went in search.

maybe honduras?

my shower this morning was 5 weak trickles of icy cold water.  i'm hoping that's not a sign for how my travels will go.

made my arrangements, packed dried fruit, ritz crackers and a pepsi, and here i go.  off to the first boat.

cross fingers for me that everything goes smoothly.  this is the first time i actually care.

livingston, guatemala and so much more

well here i am in livingston, guatemala, the only place that i said i wouldn't go.  and how did i end up here?  why am i not out of guatemala yet?  let's journey back a few days in time and i'll catch you up.

september 14, 2012.  i was trying to get out of antigua to beat the guatemalan independence day craziness.  i'd been in antigua for far too long and really had no desire to stay for some kids in parades and fireworks and all that.  seen it before so let's get to semuc champey for some relaxation.

also want to get away from the people flocking in to see the erupting volcano.  nice but not scary.

the trip in a van was supposed to be 5 hours but due to the parades already starting the day before the traffic was insane.  half of the 2 lane freeway was taken up by groups of children jogging through the mountains with torches.  or more likely, coffee cans roped to sticks with something on fire in them.  that set us back about an hour.

starting the basic chitchat when i'm stuck in a van with new people i discover that my seat mate is a fellow ohio state grad.  i didn't mention that i was about 10 years ahead of him (generous figure), but he was a nice guy so we reminisced about ohio.  he still lives there.  we made plans to make one of those o-h-i-o pictures that people send in to get in ohio state's picture album.

after being so far behind schedule so early our driver was determined to make up time any way he could.  speeding, passing multiple cars on blind curves, wrong side of the road, whatever.  we had to stop when a construction truck was backing off the highway and since there was no way around he just laid on the horn and yelled curses out the window.  its not like we're a pizza that has to be there in 30 minutes or less so i don't know what his problem was.  and when he can finally sneak around into the other lane to pass he's still yelling at the truck driver and hits the guy coming the other way.  the first thing i noticed was the 'for sale' sign on the other guys car and figured that we'd be here haggling forever over damages but our guy just yells at him and drives away.

now we're back on the road again doing twice the speed limit and we get pulled over by armed guards for a random stop.  our driver who is in so much of a hurry doesn't have the proper paperwork, so we all pile out of the van to wait.  can't we just pay them to let us be on our way?  but no, many phone calls must be made.  to kill time a few of us run across the highway to pee in the bushes with a chicken bus full of young boys half out the windows trying to get a peek.  

this is where bobby and i wanted to do our ohio state script (sorta like spelling the letters in ymca), with me and bobby being the o's and 2 guards being the h and the i, but using his rifle as the i.  neither of us had the courage to ask.

back on the road again.  all seems to be going well.  until we're run off the road by a bus.  

and finally getting to our hostel, 2 hours late and way too many dirt roads later, i head straight to the bar and get hammered.  kimberley from the bar had to navigate my way back to my bed.

september 15, 2012.  woke up with a pretty vicious hangover, and i'm proud to say that i haven't had a hangover but once since i've been gone.  should stick to the tequila.  i had made arrangements to do a full day tour of semuc champey, leaving at 9am.  at 9:15 we started walking through town because its independence day and our van can't get through.  the parades have already started and we are threading our way between throngs of children in traditional dress, bands, schools, basically everyone in this tiny town.  its close to 10 before we make our way to the van and the road.  head really hurts.

the trip to semuc champey is about half an hour of rocky dirt roads, and again, being behind schedule, our driver is making better time than my aching head wanted him to.  the group was 3 israeli couples and me.  super nice people.  tomorrow is israeli new year and everyone is on holiday.

our first stop is the cave las marias k'an-ba.  its a wet cave and most of it requires some degree of swimming.  with candles over our heads.  the first bit of cold water over my head pretty much wiped out my hangover so that was a plus.  we were climbing rocks, swimming, climbing rickety ladders, going over waterfalls, it was a super fun cave.  our guide singled me out to do the 'advanced' tour, when everyone else got to climb a ladder, i got to climb up by rope.  when everyone else jumped off a rock i got to climb 8 feet higher and jump from there.  i'm not sure why he felt i needed the extra adventure.

no one died so our next task was tubing the river.  nice and easy.  

at the end of that there was a rope swing to play on, and a bridge to jump off.  scary but fun.  again, you really can do anything here that would be illegal in the states.

next stop is lunch.  we had all brought sandwiches from the hostel but i wanted to try the local cooking and got a plate.  not fantastic.  so i tried my sandwich.  not fantastic.  i was going to throw everything away and a local girl walks up and asks if she can have my leftovers.  poor girl.  i give her my plate and all the fruit i had in my backpack.

in antigua i learned that the children start getting coffee in their bottles at 8 months.  they call it baby coffee.  after that kids mostly drink pepsi (huge monopoly here).  and even if the kids are on the street selling fruit they aren't allowed to eat it, they mainly get corn tortillas.  eating tortillas and drinking coffee and over half the children here have malnutrition.  and are really short.

there were a group of girls selling stuff so some people got together and bought them each a lunch plate and i've never seen happier children in my life.

after lunch its on to the mirador above the pools to get a view of everything.  it was a half hour walk up the mountain, mostly steps carved into the sides.  the top was amazing (see facebook pics).  the river is quite strong at the start of the valley and in the middle it goes mostly underground, leaving these clear blue pools to swim and relax in.  its a thin valley covered with jungle and mountains rising up on both sides.  quite breathtaking.

when i first approached the mirador i heard something strange, and who is it but bobby trying to organize an o-h-i-o with the amazing view.  he wasn't at my hostel so it was pretty coincidental to run into him on the top of the mountain.  we took our pictures and headed to the pools.

clear cold blue water with islands of tropical plants and waterfalls.  just what was needed after a day of caving and climbing.  we floated for a while then got loaded into a pickup truck for the bumpy ride home.

september 16, 2012.  i avoided a hangover this morning by going to bed at 9pm after the pools.  the shuttle for rio dulce left at 8.  i picked rio dulce because that was the only shuttle going in the general direction of roatan, and i'm seriously craving ocean by now.  i've been in guatemala way too long.  

the group this time is 2 different israeli couples, not nearly as pleasant as the ones yesterday (and yay, they're checking into my hostel as i write this).  we pile into the van and get started down the bumpy rock roads.  

our driver doesn't seem to realize that he's driving a shuttle so he keeps stopping for people on the side of the road to make a few extra bucks.  every time he stops one of the israeli's gets angry and yells at him.  we take a little detour and pull off next to what looks like a jail, the driver gets out and he unloads a couple crates of bananas at the gate.  while he's waiting there the big israeli (6'2" maybe 275) gets out to yell at him some more.  they are obviously on a tight schedule.  although how you could travel through guatemala and think that 'schedule' means anything, i don't know.  

from what i understand he's waiting for some food in return for the bananas and now 2 more israelis get out of the van to yell at him.  like that's gonna do anything.  15 minutes later, food delivered, we're driving again.

after another hour we get to a road block, there's construction and we aren't allowed to go through.  i take this time to find a place to pee on the side of the road, the israelis take this time to yell at the man with the orange vest.  

there's an old road and a new road.  the new road is half blocked but the old road looks clear.  i'm not understanding what the problem is.  but for no apparent reason we get cleared to take the old road after a half hour wait.  there's no construction on it, nothing blocking it, not sure what that was about.

and finally, 7 hours of no paved roads later, we get to rio dulce.  i'm very thankful to say goodbye to my van mates (although they are now sitting 20 feet from me arguing with the cleaning woman).

i make a reservation for the morning boat to livingston, where i think i can get a direct ride to the dock in honduras, then get a taxi to my hotel.  i booked this particular hotel because it has a marina and i was half hoping to find a private boat to take me to roatan for a few (many) extra dollars.  and they advertised a weight room which would be a nice change of pace from running.

none of the machines in the weight room work, and the marina is more of a dry dock.  total fail.

september 17, 2012.  so now we're mostly caught up to today.  i woke up and my body is in total agony.  almost 15 hours of driving on dirt roads in the past 3 days.  i got on the 9am boat to livingston because i saw an advertisement for a ride straight through to roatan with one company.  no thinking about boats and buses or going the wrong way or missing connections, one boat then a guy finds me, drives me to the dock in honduras, that's it.  

i get to livingston and go straight to the travel agency and they tell me that they aren't going to take me.  they need 6 people to make the trip pay and i'm the only one signed up.  but they do finally map me out a route of boats and buses and if i'm lucky i can make it.  2 boats and 3 buses.  there's no way i'm going to get there on my own in a day.  fail.

i ate lunch and had a couple beers and went to a couple other travel agencies and found one that does the same trip but only requires 4 people.  i think i'm going to go back and pay for all 4 tickets just so i can get out of this hell i feel like i'm in today.  less hassle than a cheap trip finding the right chicken bus, but cheaper than finding an airport.  whatever.

guatemela has been great, i really like it here, but its well past time to go.  ocean.  its calling me.  

angry israelis